[020] forest

this is gonna be a tough one. let’s start right away… i am 35 years old and so far i always lived in places that are more or less close to forests. i spent probably hundreds of hours in forests already in my life. they’ve always been around and therefore they are a pretty normal thing to me. at least that’s what i thought before i spent a couple of days in the ardennes.

this trip enormously changed my perception of a collection of trees and bushes. it seems a bit like i experienced “forest” for the first time in its realness / trueness and got in touch with its soul, kind of inhaled parts of it. it’s goddamn hard to describe. no idea what made just this trip so special, so one of a kind. of course i’m perfectly clear about the fact that the ardennes don’t glow magically or some shit like that. it’s just trees and bushes like here around and everywhere else in europe. comparable look, comparable smell, comparable everything – but an entirely different FEELING (in a frenzyesque overwhelming way). now, skuyovdzhenyy, go on and describe that feeling without the flavour of esotheric sillyness.

hm, it’s a very poetic und surreal issue. let’s continue with describing effects and asking questions (and ideally get to cause and answeres in so doing). walking through the ardennes made me perceive everything a lot more conscious and feel a lot more mindful = connected. i was touched, pervaded and, in the end, filled up with the scenery. time at a standstill. but how was this 10 times more intense than every other nature experience so far? (maybe except iceland)

it actually reminds me again of this strange and almost creepy feeling of coming home at a place i’ve never been before. it even got religious and made me think of stuff like reincarnation and possible previous lifes. some serious thoughts, some trashy ones. it might be another manifestation of my everlasting latent wish for returning to the womb – here i definitely prefer the german word “mutterleib” which represents the poetic aspect of the entire thing a lot better.

i wonder if it’s just the next spoke on the ladder of my traditional glorification of the banal – i mean, i adore NASCAR which is, kept in perspective, not much more than cars racing in simple ovals for 3 hours. I adore minimalistic monobeatish music which is not much more than a synthetic heart beat with some audio ornaments. both could be seen as rather stupid. it might be the same thing with forests. again early symptoms of an urge to simplify an overstraining life?

i’m still attracted by forests more than ever but german forests appear like clean, structured and… german – which almost completely bans this “authentic” feeling i had in the ardennes.

after all, not knowing the answers to all this keeps the myth alive and triples the enjoyment… so let’s leave everything this way. as a feeling it’s none of reason’s business anyway.


[020] forest

[012] second life

when i threw my first avatar into second life over a decade ago it was kind of a pop thing. one of the first memories i have is standing on a hill together with numerous others and watching the infamous penis cloud pass by. i was deeply fascinated by the creative potential SL had to offer. everybody could create everything. to the present day i never created something but spent lots of time exploring.

the public lost interest in SL pretty soon and it got even more interesting for me. huge parts still lie idle and abandoned, which makes it the perfect virtual refuge from time to time. it’s still alive and there’s life to be noted indeed – a playground for nerds and (now for the bright side of the medal) artists. metaverse art is the key word.

i still want to have a second home, i think – or better: nerd me thinks. a tiny, dystopian and walden-like shelter somewhere nice. still looking for the perfect spot, and probably keeping on doing that for the rest of my life.

adalbert, my fellow avatar for almost 10 years now, currently looks like a mixture of magritte’s son of man without the apple and a mildly minded german official from the 1920s. but his life wasn’t too boring at all as he

  • worked at red square in virtual moscow in a small pub,
  • attended some lectures on contemporary architecture at a virtual university,
  • got in touch with steam punk, brutalism and old time radio in their own theme parks,
  • went to tons of museums, exhibitions and parties,
  • visited many real life adaptions like mont st. michel, pripyat or villa rotonda,
  • played a small role in a machinima piece,
  • took part in virtual art hunts,
  • helped solving murders and mysteries at spooky places – but most of the time he
  • simply enjoyed walking, running or flying around unknown sceneries and taking photos…


[012] second life

[003] sweet nothingness

bloggers know: nothing is too banal to be mentioned here. this is a rather personal thing anyway…

activities with no productivity purpose were considered a waste of time a bit too long – with known results in the end. (basic) lessons we learn, or: he that will not hear must feel. so let’s focus on exact those (all meditative) activites – vacation plans:

  • vipassana meditation (one of the few leftovers of my buddhist period a couple of years ago),
  • longer walks at night, listening to quality psydub releases (“quality” mostly means being freed from flute, piano, guitar or other new age elements, check player below for a representative example),
  • sitting there in the middle of the forest with a field recorder, recording the sweet nothing, walden’s spirit,
  • getting lost in virtuality like exploring netlabel cemetry, playing around with music production tools, taking a hundred training laps around virtual eldora speedway or simply going on a tour through second life universe with my buddy adalbert, exploring abandoned places, favourite and new spots and (again) listening to sounds and music…
[003] sweet nothingness