[039] feed me, dirty princess!

so, you are a large city with millions of inhabitants and tourists? you provide world famous landmarks as well as brutally amazing architecture and hidden gems? classic and contemporary art – and even a blistering streetart movement? fast-paced urbanism alongside some of the most relaxing parks? you are symbol and centre of different electronic music subgenres? you serve top-level food to the sophisticated? you have this sexy aura of not giving too much of a fuck in general? you feel real?

congratulations, you are london and this text is for you!

dear, it’s been a while. you still have bad teeth but a conquering smile. your dress is dirty and worn-out in parts but i’d still leave almost any other place on the face of the planet immediately to get back to you. thanks for having me recently, thanks for existing and until next time… there are not many places where underground still feels this alive and kicking. thanks again, hang in there & take care, dark beauty!

yours truly

a. k.


[039] feed me, dirty princess!

[037] great great britain

occasion-related summary – what great britain stands for (for me… so far):

richard burns, colin mcrae, kris meeke, craig breen, elfyn evans
jungle (brockie & mc det)
aston martin, lola, radical
the it crowd
gordon ramsay
throbbing gristle
wine gums
top gear (clarkson, hammond, may)
drum and bass (amoss, dispatch rec.)
user, utility plastics, serial scratch
monty python
brands hatch, brooklands, donington park, lydden hill, snetterton, thruxton
prodigy, fluke
lincolnshire poacher
peaky blinders
barbican, tate modern
uk space techno
luke slater, cristian vogel, neil landstrumm, regis, surgeon, luke vibert
billy connolly
craig ferguson
scotch eggs
sarah kane
tricky, portishead
james graham ballard
hyde park
ginger beer
little britain
ray cokes
waldemar januszczak

to be continued…


[037] great great britain

[033] documenta 14? nope!

several times i wanted to visit the documenta, the giganto exhibition of contemporary art, taking place every 5 years in kassel. my first (and only) time thus far was back in 2012 for documenta 13 – which turned out to be a complete blast in every aspect. as a consequence, there was a looooot of excitement and anticipation for this years documenta, that drastically crashed just recently.

well, one cannot and should not compare. of course every documenta is different and unique with their own artistic directors, themes, ambitions and concepts as well as, of course, artists… but: in 2012 there was a huge and addicting hype already long before the opening in june. interviews with the super-likeable carolyn christov-bakargiev, reports, speculations and rumors and lots of publications (first and foremost these tiny artist’s notebooks). i had the feeling to be able to kind of grow with the whole thing? caught by the wave very early. documenta 13 itself was an exhibition of art and ideas in an optimistic, free and unpredictable fashion and enormous variation. a mindblowing thing and therefore the perfect escape from daily life.

documenta 14 was not hyped at all beforehand. not much to find out and the small pieces that got known were, you know. the artistic director himself? you know… his concept is very different from the one of 2012 for sure. apparently, adam szymczyk uses art as an instrument for his hypocritical moralizing lecture with a wagging finger. he confronts the visitors with subjects like politics, economy, global inequity, globalization, gentrification, slavery, imperialism, fascism, oppression, nationalism, colonialism and the “problematic” relation between germany and greece.

i personally have a rather sophisticated and reasonable opinion of every of those topics i’d say (alongside a true and honest compassion for victims of every kind of injustice), but i simply dont wanna be confronted with these topics in the context of an art exhibition – which, for me, symbolizes the opportunity to escape from demagogy and populism for a while. not gonna happen in kassel for sure.

dear mr. szymcyk, please go to athens, stay there, surround yourself with your deciples of bad conscience, do-gooders and those with the need for over-theorization of everything, improve your own world, get a halo, have a long life and leave the free world alone. thank you. ah, one more. the documenta is a kassel-thing!

[033] documenta 14? nope!

[027] inverted van gogh effect

unfortunately many are led to van gogh’s art by his extraordinarily eventful life, writes raymond cogniat in his biography, even though the art persists in itself, deserves highest admiration and should not be seen as the illustration of a gripping fate. ok, cogniat’s book is from 1958 which brings up a question: is it still the same today? do people still get in contact first with the painter’s life events and only later with the sunflowers? not too sure about that. in my case at least, it was the exact opposite. my first contact with the sunflowers was in kindergarden i guess. the more i’m bombed with something within a certain timespan (especially mass / pop / hype stuff) the less interested i get. that’s the main reason why vincent willem van gogh entered my personal stage not before autumn 2016.

what i already knew before (besides goddamn sunflowers) was: dutch painter with a love for self-portraits and starry nights, absinthe drinker who cut off his ear (correlation myth), overall associated with impressionism. i heard his name in school, tv and lectures; spotted his face on postcards, cheap absinthe bottles and dutch chocolate boxes; saw his paintings in museums, books and documentaries – and simply got oversaturated pretty soon; too annoyed too early to generate a serious interest. every other painter was more attractive right from the start.

a few years ago i attended an exhibition on montmartre fin de siècle art and found myself standing amazed in front of (non-cliché) “la colline de montmartre avec une carrière de pierres” (wikimedia image). it usually can be found at amsterdam van gogh museum so i probably walked past it already without taking notice. i mean, it requires a certain amount of maturity maybe to find attraction in moody landscape paintings. nothing to please teenagers for sure. in a fairy moment in val de travers, holding a glass of absinthe, i decided to finally explore whether there really was a relation between my favourite distilled beverage and the dubious decision for self-mutilation by mr. sunflower. van gogh was successfully dismissed and offtopic long enough which perfectly allowed it to ask google.

as a result i’m now reading biographies and the correspondance between vincent and theo van gogh; looking at the (non-forest) pictures i took during my french-belgian holidays, watching documentaries by (sensational) waldemar januszczak (youtube) and starting my precious little private hype now. time is right for this!


[027] inverted van gogh effect

[004] creative output

as written in my diaries from earlier days i was afraid of having failed in life at the age of 30. i apparently didnt have much trust in myself. dealing with my ancient fears is part 2 of my mid30-inventory. this time: the fear of dying one day as a silly consumer, without having verified that there is some creative potential inside me, to leave the world without any proof of existence so to speak. fun fact: (the possibility of) having children wasnt mentioned in any diary at all…

anyways, my creative output so far:

1. writing
writing appears to be the thing for me. i’m writing pretty much since i am able to hold a pen. on the one hand there is a huge amout of diaries and autobiographic texts. on the other hand there are myriads of sheets and files containing short stories, longer stories (fragments mostly) and rather experimental stuff. a decade ago i got the opportunity to read in front of a small and hand-picked audience and i won a small contest. i was part of several writing projects as well. in view of this huge amount of fragments, the idea of completing (not necessarily publishing) a book still lives on. got rather close twice already. recently my writing became more and more some sort of self-therapy though.

2. music
using all kinds of software tools as my idea of “making music” (which mostly isnt more than experimenting around) feels a whole lot more creative than writing that became way too normal over the years. earlier days i made tons of loops and some fragmented tracks as well. nowadays i’m focussing on what i call “enriched field recordings”, following the idea of combining “organic” (aleatoric) parts with all sterile, solid and predictable parts. growing plants on concrete. recently i was experimenting with ambient, binaural beats and field recordings. when i got the offer of being published by a netlabel a longer while ago, i immediately lost interest though. not sure why. maybe it was too easy in the end, a lack of challenge. almost killed the vibe. no real aims here.

3. art
a couple of years ago i won an art contest together with a friend, publicly performing an interactive sonification of one of his paintings. concept was winner, i’d say but crowd and jury appreciated it. the idea of sonifying visual art isn’t new. in earlier days i wrote a code for automatic sonification of the groundplan of le corbusier’s villa savoye together with a buddy. no real aims here as well. proving potentials from time to time seems to do the trick here as well. ah, almost forgot to mention: in school i managed to be exhibited with a painting at local town hall’s corridor for a week.

since i have a real job and certainly would never be able to live from my “art” (or even feeding a family) successfully reduces pressure on myself concerning my “creative output”. most of the time i enjoy being a consumer indeed…

[004] creative output