with trends it’s always the same thing: at first there are the pioneer days, when there is a movement, the specific trend gains shape and form and transmits its attraction to the chosen few. after that, in case it shows potential, it gets sucked in, crushed, digested and shit out by the so called mainstream. when it reaches the climax of popularity, the pioneers already moved on, setting foot on new terrain somewhere else. every now and then, one such pioneer turns around again, maybe for nostalgic reasons, to have a look at this remainders of one of these turds.
in my case, there is plenty of turds, plenty of phenomena that are left by the pioneers as well as the mainstream, lay abandoned but still are breathing. forgotten by most but (therefore) regained their attraction. some examples are vaporwave, second life, bookcrossing, rfactor mods… and geocaching.
following my still persisting nostalgic mood i installed the geocaching app this morning, scanned my surroundings, took my youngest and went for treasure hunting. those who both missed the pioneer days and the pop period don’t know the turdness of the trend. and they enjoy it in a pure, honest and addicting way. there’s much to show our kids… with all the other things mentioned above, i’ll wait though.
being almost 40 years old, it sometimes takes a lot of effort to stay in the here and now. since not much is going on really, i find myself pulled away so easily and thrown back into times, when more happened – in fact more that i was able to handle or to go through / experience to a sufficient extend. so i kept tons of stuff for a sacred “later” moment when there’d be time. like now. that all has nothing to do with the pandemic by the way. in my humble case, it’s ongoing business for years now (i mean, i’m dedicating an entire tag to this here)
not everything lies buried in the past and makes you sort of a grim reaper when getting back to it. some things are still pretty alive… or alive again… simply gotten out of sight for whatever reasons. one such thing that quite recently popped up again is tom green, being very active on youtube. i actually “found” him setting up his home studio for another video podcast project called “webovision” – which is a very cool thing to follow (yeah, yeah, once a fan, always a fan)!
podcasts are a thing that definitely made it through the years. in fact, it’s more popular (with me) than ever. after a decade of mostly music related and non-video ones, i seem to have reached next level, now listening to / watching (more or less frequently) ear biscuits (rhett&link), hotboxin’ (mike tyson), bunny ears (macaulay culkin) and… of course… the joe rogan experience (joe rogan). until tom green is fully ready for his one, i find it oh so f*cking satisfying and deeply enjoyable to watch things like what he describes as a day in the life of webovision.
while writing this blog post, i stumbled upon an episode of the joe rogan experience featuring, yes, tom green. that’s what i call a REVIVAL:
the news is a little outdated already, in fact i am a couple of weeks late here, but boy oh boy, that lightning stroke: matt kenseth made his return to the cup series as a replacement driver for kyle larson at CGR for the remainder of the 2020 season. that! is!! awesome!!!
i never really mentioned matt’s farewell from the series at the end of the 2018 season here. i didn’t even watch most of his races in the #6 car. the man still is such a hero to me, i couldn’t stand seeing him in a car that just wasn’t capable of winning.
with his return my interest, my excitement and all enthusiasm immediately skyrocketed back up to 100, just like all fell to almost zero in late 2018. it’s a funny thing to look at myself from back then. i was like “i don’t think i’ll ever be interested in the sport again. good times, over now!”. well, no. hehe… fourth wave?
right now, i definitely think NASCAR got me back. i am seriously looking forward to feeling a ton of excitement as long as matt is behind his wheel. and even after that, let’s see who’s gonna replace him as my favourite driver. the most promising candidate for now certainly is william byron. let’s wait how things will turn out… but for now:
in midst of my late night enjoyment of what i wanna call #covidwave = this distinct early 2020 mixture of doomjazz, dark ambient / drone and vaporwave, i just read this: not only released the nine inch nails with “ghosts v” and “ghosts vi” two successors to their awesome 2008 instrumental improv album “ghosts i-iv”, they’re giving it away for free.
the series’ title itself couldn’t fit these days any better…
if there is this one melody, this melody deeply and inseparably attached to and connected with the very core of your soul, this melody your mother maybe played on her electric piano when she was pregnant with you, this melody you still catch yourself humming every now and then… if there is this one melody, i warmly recommend taking the following steps:
choose your favourite hour (mine: 2 am)
get your favourite drink (mine: absinthe)
download your favourite free audio workstation (mine: lmms)
i don’t know how many times i started, quit, restarted and requit my running. back in school, which is more than 20 years ago now, i quickly understood, that running was something nature built me for: an easy way to get in shape, feel healthy and achieve good results with a relatively low effort. what i’ve always been struggling with though is continuity: good results didn’t matter anymore when i found myself installed at my job. the older i got, the less important physical shape became. when i started to feel too uncomfortable in terms of physique i changed eating habits – or whatever habits. only when that didn’t help anymore, yeah, i restarted running. as soon as i felt good again and was able to run for 2+ hours through beloved kraichgau hills without notable bodily effects, i requit. and so on and so forth.
it’s today when i restarted my running again. so, why do i write about it now? well, it’s different from before. i need to stay on board when i don’t wanna suffer from what the effects of constant high blood pressure might be. simple as that. also new: for the first time ever i own runners that deserve this description.
let’s see where things will lead me to. aside from all the new development, something will never change: as long as i live, i will never join a running community or take part in a marathon or whatever. over the years running perfectly served another essential purpose: it works as a refuge from (over)civilisation.
the idea of the “polaroid” called literary snaphot is ages old. these things though have the highest value for myself in times like these, that’s why i decided to get back to this again a little more.
today i slept pretty much all day. there is a lot falling off of me right now. in the afternoon it started raining, i opened all windows and layed myself on a sleeping-roll in midst of the draft. since i felt the all natural background noise needed little synthetic enhancement i tuned in “24/7 Dark Ambient Music Livestream for Studying Lovecraftian Tomes“. when the rain stopped i opened my eyes again and searched the wallpapers for discolorations of black smoke as a result of the detoxication process of my soul.
prepared myself some non-hipster dinner (fried slices of maultaschen with homemade lecsó sauce) and started processing my watchlist. first stop:
i loved both, but… neither will i study lovecraftian tomes nor listen to nick cave’s music now. it’s just that these things make this moment last and memorable. alongside this small note.
p.s. i could have added a shot of the outside weather quite easily, but you don’t add pictures when the text was first – the text, that represents the inside weather.
so it happened that i am facing the longest stretch of days off since i left school: 5 weeks in a fricken row. on the eve of that promising void, i am sitting up straight, staring at the thunderstorm through the open window, sipping my noilly and, yeah, trying to realize things.
this gigantic reservoir of the maybe, this insane potential of what could happen, could be accomplished, created, explored (exploited) or experienced… or – since i turned 38 a few days ago – what could be re-accomplished, re-created, re-explored (re-exploited) or re-experienced. the different would be welcome, the new would be embraced. next up though, i need to sleep. that’s the first lake i wanna dive into.
what could be done already now is this blog post. it’s been a while for sure. by the way, the fatty bacon needs a name – so, what to call this state of mind in which every need is (or seems to be) satisfied? in which there is (or seems to be) no simple need to move, neither physically nor mentally? or on the other hand, the opposite pole: this state of total exhaustion, in which there is (or seems to be) no simple chance to move, neither physically nor mentally? they both take away the sense for what’s real, right or wrong, the both spoil creativity, they both simulate the progression of time and they both need names.
not now though, having my diving gear on already… 5 weeks of time.
leaving the concert hall after an anna Þorvaldsdóttir concert and entering men’s restroom is a one of a kind experience. no chance you fully realized / digested what you just heard by then. and so you’re standing in front of the urinal, eyes closed, and the silence in the restroom appears as a dynamic and complex composition of nothingness. as a magically choreographed dance of its countless particles, more and more assuming form, color and shape before your inner eye = as part of the concert. struggling to find a proper description or name for this, you finally come up with “artistic silence”. still hypnotised by these dancing particles, it takes a certain while until you wake up again and discover that you are still standing in front of the urinal. so you hurry packing your business, washing your hands, getting out of the restroom and back into the concert hall, just to take a quick shot of the prepared piano in order to get an evidence that everything really happened. out of the corner of your eye you notice the composer, talking to those who obviously are more familiar with what happened, looking happy, grateful and nice, holding a bunch of flowers. for a second you look at her, wondering what might have taken her here…
you know, i have quite some experience with contemporary / neoclassical pieces of experimental and/or ambient fashion, intensifying gloomy undertone and i even own “aerial“. all in all i was rather sceptical towards the potential outcome of an acreage that was so heavily farmed and harvested by ligeti, pärt and cage – but i was disabused impressively.
now i am sitting here, enjoying the aftermath of all this, witnessing the artistic silence getting slowly replaced by regular silence… i still have some brennivín somewhere!